How to Become a Creative Lover: Chapter 1: Here is where the problem begins

A problem? With me? With my sex life? Give me a break!

If you are a typical man, you will probably deny any possibility that you have sex issues, unless (God forbid) you suffer from impotence.

We men are highly trained to deny most of our feelings, including our main problems. We tend to believe that many things "should not be discussed" and we even secretly feel that hushing some problems will eventually just make them disappear. How many men do you know who are passionate and ready to discuss their sexual experiences? Or who say, "Yes, I like sex, but aren't I supposed to get more out of it?" Probably not many.

More importantly, have you ever wondered why women can experience such powerful and enduring orgasms, lasting long after men have hit their quick peak and rapidly descended into an unresponsive state? Is there a possibility for men to not just "join the party" but stick around to enjoy all her fun? (Let there be no mistake, women have their own unsettled issues in sex, but this is dedicated only to the sexual experiences of men.)

A sexual encounter, when had in the right way, is one of the climaxes of human experiences. It is a combination of physical, spiritual, emotional and even mysterious elements of the human mind. It is an opportunity to enjoy the most intimate and powerful feeling of closeness with someone else, and it is also good for our health in many ways.

Yet few people, especially men, really experience sex as such an extraordinary event (though they will not likely admit to it). They do not invest much energy in learning the subject in depth; they just "do it" whenever possible and remain afloat in an ocean of wet fantasies that repeatedly penetrates their mind throughout a typical day. Their search for possible outlets to relieve their wild fantasies only intensifies the primary problem, which is that this type of sex never reaches the level of a deep and significant experience.

I am about to present you a different course of action, where I will not only assist you in having a more rewarding and satisfying sex life, but will also give you an efficient set of methods to deal better with sexual fantasies. The main "secret" of this journey is the way you can (and should) utilize your fantasies into a creative force. This sort of transformation is actually a rearranging of the system back to its normal way of functioning, where both sexual and creative urges are properly expressed and nurture each other on a regular basis. By bringing the two into one cooperative state, both will flourish better and each can reach its maximum potential.

Our individualistic society encourages branching out and specializing as a way to stand out. In this process of specification and even sub-specification, many paradigms and fields of knowledge are separated into completely different entities. However, the human brain rarely functions this way. In fact, inside us, many things communicate and cooperate, and when we fail to let them work this way, we lose the opportunity to enjoy their best performance and contribution.

The problem of suboptimal pleasure in sex is actually rooted in the very early years of our budding manhood. The rational world becomes imposed on us after childhood, and so our natural creative instincts, which are supposed to manage fantasies and utilize them towards productive and unique work, instead become suppressed down to just barely noticeable levels.

Fantasies are by all means a creative output of the human soul. All fantasies are "unreasonable" and contain many features of genuine creation. However, when creative tools are denied and over-criticized, the normal pathway of taking a creative event (like a fantasy) and transforming it into another creative action is truncated. The individual thus remains exposed to fantasies, without the appropriate tool to properly handle them.

So here we find ourselves with fantasies that we must deal with as if they were savage and uncontrollable events, rather than natural creative impulses.

The problem worsens as we become accustomed to it and even almost "addicted" to it (this is our tendency when we feel helpless and unable to control something that keeps on happening to us). When this happens, we adopt a mental framework to convince ourselves that our sexual fantasies are inevitable, and so we either let them "stay if they want" or try every method to ignore them.

None of these common approaches work. The excess tension of overloaded fantasies remains and creates an uncomfortable state of mind that eventually affects our real sexual performance and experience in a negative way. As long as sex is had under an atmosphere of overloaded fantasies which never find their real destination, no real deep and substantial pleasure can be achieved.

This issue is more prominent among men for one basic reason ― the whole interior territory of fantasies, imagination, wishes and desires is basically feminine in nature. Women are more comfortable with their "inner world" than men, because this is how they are built to be.

Equipped with basic tools more related to the "outside world,” men find it more difficult to experience fantasies or other intangible or unreasonable events. As such, they prefer to rid themselves of the fantasy as soon as possible, so as to not get tangled up in complex emotional processes. These very same emotional aspects may be required to sustain a serious relationship, which, of course, also involves sex.

But do not despair, brother. A great solution is right there, in your very hands. Just learn how to use it and you can catch two birds with one net: your sexuality and your creativity, at the same time. By all means you will become what women deem sexy. You will be able to manage and master your impulses in a unique way that will surely impress and attract your current or future partner. You are going to find the "creation of your erection.”

For this transition to take place, you may follow my recommendation and read this book at least twice and do the playful work I offer you, sometimes in parallel to reading the material. Repeated reading and "spending quality time" with the book will ignite new ideas and motivation for change that will encourage you to explore the idea of sexual creativity in depth.

You will be provided with extensive knowledge that will help you implement a core change: to return to your innate powerful ability to gracefully shift between sexuality and creativity over and over again, thereby improving each one separately and at the same time enhancing the cooperation between these two powerful aspects of your personality.

Please pay attention: basically, as human beings, we are all expected to do the "sex thing" and have children. However, we are not really expected to be especially creative about it or about anything else (please check this statement in more arenas in your life). As I will demonstrate through this book, as long as the sexuality-creativity axis is not properly balanced, we don't really fulfill the promise that sexual experiences can bring us and of course, we stay ignorant to our creative potential.

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