How to Become a Creative Lover: Chapter 4: Yes, it is harder for us to feel when we are hard

In Hebrew, there is a saying that more or less translates to, “When the penis is hard, your brain is by your butt…”

Well, many times this is what happens to us when we become sexually aroused, either in just a fantasy or in a real-life intimate situation. We tend to lose our better judgment and stop thinking straight. There are so many stories about men who committed major and faulty decisions that were considerably connected to sexual issues. Take for example the accounts of female spies who broke down the most sophisticated men by seducing them into a sexual encounter, as just a small sample from the extensive data that shows the potential for a temporary loss of reason when things get hard down there.

By his basic nature, a man is supposed to spill his semen into a woman's vagina in order to get her pregnant, and thus propagate. This is what we are expected to do in the most elemental form of sex. In contrast, a woman's role is only to passively permit this situation to happen and absorb the man's contribution. Men are supposed to deliver, women to receive.

As the passive receiver, it is easier for women to focus additional energy on their feelings. The man is so absorbed in his mission of "I must plant my seed inside her,” that he cannot think beyond that, as far as an emotional-spiritual experience is concerned. Of course, it would be nice to be able to delay your orgasm and enjoy sex on a different level. Yet as long as these generally agreed roles remain fixed in place and that masculine state of mind dominates, you run the risk of engaging mainly in shallow sex, and therefore missing out on all the benefits and gifts that this sacred occasion could give you.

With time, you may learn to climb out of the trap of shallow sex. It is a purely physical experience and actually a waste of time. It's used as a way to detach from your emotions, creativity and connection to your sexual partner. You may think that you are enjoying real relaxation after you have released the tension, but you do not know what you are missing out on. Over the long run, the more you engage in shallow sex, the harder it gets for you to upgrade to the real thing, where your fantasy can truly reach an understanding of what is actually taking place.

If you are ready to work towards having deep sex, follow my advice. You could try women's tricks that allow them, by nature, to have a deeper experience in sex, but as a man you will not have much success.

As I pointed out before, your primary function is to "donate" your semen, and you will never be able to escape this basic difference from the other sex. I suggest you take that biological duty for the future of mankind and turn it into a very personal creative event, where new elements of your masculine potential will spring forth to form your own unique sexual style.

Before we go any further with this idea, let's take a quick look back to the basics. When you are having an intimate relationship, biologically you are engaged in nature's way of reproducing. A divine creation, the process that ends with the miraculous birth of a new person, begins with you. You start this amazing creative sequence the moment you put yourself inside the receiving vagina. No one can take that power away from you. You are the giver, and many women beg men to "give it" to them, because they are passionate about receiving and nurturing this creation in their wombs.

As the initiator of one of the most powerful creative human events on earth, have you taken the time to really reflect on this issue? Have you ever considered how to leverage these facts for your own personal benefit?

Women frequently complain about many features of male sexual behavior. True, when we have our hard-on, it is hard for us to think. All of the blood from one head is drained into the other. Frankly, we are not supposed to think at these moments. We also may be unable to be as gentle and as patient as women expect. We are unlikely to have as deep of an emotional experience as women report having.

In general, women wish to have as deep of an experience as possible—during, before and after intercourse. What they fail to realize is that you are not equipped with the same structure, making it impossible for you to become as tender, slow, thoughtful, and connected to your feelings as they are. We do not get wet, and so our emotions do not flow like vaginal juices. This will not be your path for deep sex, because it is the feminine way, quite distant from what I will urge you to explore. So if you feel you disappoint your woman, remember that you can never fulfill what she expects of you, at least in that way. Instead, you will find your own masculine approach to a deeper experience (and this, eventually, will let you offer her new kinds of pleasure).

Now let's take a metaphoric look at our lovely personal item and turn it into a creative tool, just for the sake of introduction and a brief explanation of where we are headed. Visualize a paint brush. It has a solid handle and stiff bristles. You know, an artist will not paint unless the brush is firm and stable. The fact that the brush handle is usually made of a hard wood is an essential feature for doing artwork. What we have in our possession is just as valuable an instrument for our creativity as a painter's brush is for his creations. Broadening our perspective on its use and functions, your penis can be your bridge into a creative experience with your partner. Like a paint brush, it functions best when firm.

The type of creativity I am now suggesting that you think about is different from what is commonly associated with this concept. As you are probably aware, creativity is often considered to be a rare and evasive quality. People very much value creativity and wish to have more of it, yet usually find themselves feeling unable to pursue their creative wishes, or even to recognize them. We are here to change that.

If you diligently follow this path, you will begin to notice a natural channel of creative passion start to stream out of you. It may take a while for you to notice this change, but it happens once you manage to make the connection between your natural sexuality and its automatic creative outlet. Eventually it will become a part of your reality, and you will find that the creativity will start flowing more freely and faster.

Nowadays it is not politically correct to point out differences between the sexes. The general trend today is to break down the boundaries and let both sexes enjoy the historically traditional roles of the opposite gender.

However, at the same time, deep differences continue to exist, along with many misunderstandings. A man must clearly understand what nature has given him, otherwise no real fulfillment can occur. Women are magnificent in their femininity and men are great with their masculinity. Our role is to create a deep connection with mutual learning and sharing between the genders so each can change and gain some good features from the other side.

Yet, if we forget our roots, we lose the ground beneath our feet. As a man, you should mainly explore the wonders and beauty of your manhood, and afterwards you can learn (as you will see later) how to incorporate feminine tools into your developing system.

Among many of the differences among the sexes, it is worth noting the following: femininity is mainly linked to the "inside" parts of life, whereas masculinity is related to the "outside" parts of life. This is why it is often easier for women to connect to their feelings (inside) and for men to go out and spend many hours at work (outside). This generalized description is not meant to say women are not to work, nor that men are not to feel, but simply an observation of basic qualities that exist in both genders, though probably in different quantities.

If we take this model to a higher perspective, we could say that the primary feminine passion is to make changes on the "inside" life and the masculine agenda is to create changes on the "outside.” You see, the typical man's basic wish is to "penetrate" (conquering the "outside"), while the woman wishes "to be penetrated" (inviting into her "inside"). You go out to her, she is letting you in. This is the classic paradigm, and it's great as is!

When you are aroused and have that urge to "conquer" her body, you must realize—difficult as it is when the erection makes us poorly connected to our reasoning—that you are also entering a highly creative zone. This may help you find your real masculine depth, which will safely lead you to your highest possible satisfaction.

Once you manage to closely connect sexual arousal with a creative state of mind, your performance, both inside and outside the bedroom, will rise significantly. You will find your own masculine way of having meaningful intimacy, and that will make complaints of being distant or selfish turn into compliments.

You will be appreciated more, and even thanked. Your real role is to go "deep" as a man, in a creative fashion that wishes to change the "outside,” by going out there and conquering the world. This is how you should feel when you have sex. Do not to try to follow women's agenda of going through a deep emotional change on the "inside" by inviting you inside her, so as to make the entire world "merge with her being.” This is irrelevant for you and quite impossible anyway.

Both of you, during sex, can climb to a higher peak, you as an explorer of the "out,” and she as the diver into the "in.” When turned on, you can turn on your creativity, and connect to your creative innate forces that guide you inside her. Eventually, you will discover how great it is to have your masculine sexuality. There is a lot to learn and practice in order to reach this state, but believe me, the prize waiting for you is awesome and the practice along the way is fun and refreshing! Do not try to understand everything right now; the dots are to be connected much later. Let your masculine mind rest for a while and just move on. I assure you there will be no confusion or misunderstandings when we complete the process.


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