You may not like the following idea.
In fact, very few really like this idea. The reactions range from anger to avoidance, from ignoring to claiming that it is pure nonsense. Some people, however, will try to do something useful with this information and, in doing so, may completely alter the course of their life. I hope you are one of them. Otherwise, blocking off your mind to these ideas just leaves you stuck on the same path, side-by-side with your chronic and painful problems.
What follows is an important building block for the rest of the process, laying the groundwork for a new place free of some of your major problems.
As you surely already know, addiction is no easy thing to get over. Addicts can go through years of rehabilitation and not come through clean on the other side, despite much effort. It is even more difficult when the addict doesn't admit to having a problem, like what often happens with addiction to "reasonable" or "common" chronic problems, such as workaholism.
Certain substances do contain highly addictive properties, like heroin. However, it is wrong to think that the addiction is stubborn and that's why we can't shake it. The problem lies in our approach. We don't fully understand addiction, so we keep trying the same misguided methods to "kill it." This only results in constant, guaranteed failure. If you do not really realize what you are dealing with, how will you possibly overcome it?
Let me encourage you with an insight into the missing piece of the puzzle. The real reason for much of the failure in getting out of addiction stems from not sufficiently taking into account the Right-Brain mechanisms and tools, which are essential in overcoming a negative habit.
A central aspect of the Right-Brain's way of dealing with addiction to problems comes from the “resistance to opportunity” principle. Understanding this concept is a key for later success in changing a stagnated reality into a more dynamic and creative state, where problems have a significantly shorter life span.
Please do not be offended, but from now on I will address you, dear reader, as an addict. I hope you can take it with a light attitude that will allow you to capture the spirit of the message without getting into unneeded self-judgment. I will address you like an addict the same as I address myself when I deal with the recurrent nagging and annoying events that persistently trouble my peace and my goals.
As addicts, we actually resist the cure and ignore the possibilities surrounding us that may lead us to get over these obstacles. Resistance is an important innate feature that comes automatically with the state of addiction. Whatever chronic or recurrent problem you have been facing, some part of you devotes itself entirely to antagonizing the good answers that try to approach you and suggest a solution.
When we finally reach the moment of ending our problems, it is pretty typical to react with a surprising insight like, "My god, the answer was always here, beside me! How come I didn't notice this before?" or "Why did I waste so much time and energy when all I needed to do was take this simple step?"
The answer is even simpler: it is because you simply didn't want to notice the proper path for change. Your main problem is not just the mere problem you deal with, but your resistance to part from it and end your "relationship" with it. Once you stop resisting, your eyes will finally open to what has always been there for you. It is as simple as it sounds, yet reaching this state of simplicity is the complex challenge that we face here.
A prime example for this condition is people who are desperate to have a relationship and fail to find someone to love and share their time with. They may try dating all sorts of folks, only to constantly return home alone, disappointed. Many of them say something like, "All the good ones are already taken. Where on Earth will I find someone for me?”
Rather than wonder where all the “good ones” are, they should really ask what is not functioning right in them. As soon as the person works on having a better connection to their Right-Brain properties like passion and optimism (which makes them truly ready for an intimate and meaningful relationship), the right person "happens" to arrive. When you are ready (when your resistance is lowered), positive change becomes much more possible.
This issue is a great example of how we approach challenges with our left and right brains. The Left-Brain will say, "I do not understand. After so many dates, why can't I find anyone?" It will then attempt to reason its way through it: "Statistically, all I need to do is continue my efforts until I find someone."
The Right-Brain, on the other hand, is dealing with the hidden emotional truth. This is the place where we generate desire, where we get excited and where we can tap into what we really want. When the Right-Brain cannot deliver, for whatever reason, the right amount of emotional energy (passion, enthusiasm, flexibility and creativity), it shuts its door, which creates resistance and prevents a relationship from forming.
What you will learn is that everything must be "born" in the Right-Brain and then go through the Left-Brain for execution. It is like the "pregnancy period" that is needed before the good "delivery" can take place. It is the Right-Brain that prepares the personality to create a change through imagination, emotional readiness, anticipation and passion. As long as these processes do not start, nothing will change.
And do you know what happens when nothing changes?
You may have guessed― bad things happen. Negative changes take place, and they stay for a long time, growing to what you will eventually call a "problem."
You may want to reread the last paragraph again and maybe even three times before you continue. You may want to take another look at what I presented and consider it as an explanation of how a problem forms. It may help you connect better with the next ideas.
The pains and troubles associated with a problem are like a constant warning sign saying that the Right-Brain is "not satisfied." All of its attempts to overcome the problem will bounce off the wall of frustrating failures and despair. The Left-Brain will keep on asking, "Why is it not working?" or "How come other people do not have to put as much energy into this problem? It doesn't make sense! Should I buy another book to read about this problem?"
No, dear Left-Brain, you don't even need to go out in order to fix this constant disharmony. All you need to do is relinquish some of your authority and learn how to pass it on to the Right-Brain. It knows the work which you are not yet ready for.
The process of returning the energy of the problem to its source, the Right-Brain, is what you are about to learn here. This is where you are going to shift from resistance (that stems from an "angry" and "frustrated" Right-Brain) to opportunity (also originating in the Right-Brain).
Try to imagine this (your Right-Brain is in charge of imagining): a certain amount of energy is constantly being invested to keep the addiction as a problem. Try to visualize a state where this particular energy can be shifted in another direction, where there is less friction and resistance. Try to imagine how the energy can be used to creatively explore opportunities and new answers. The same force used for resistance can be used to dissolve a problem. This is how it works and this is the Right-Brain's way.
In order to begin this process, you must start by acknowledging your addiction to your problem and recognize that, despite all your fights and struggles, you have actually been resisting ending the problem.
When you can look at this situation without too much judgment or self-accusation, you can start working through the Right-Brain in order to alter the current condition into a new path. Now prepare yourself for some hard work up ahead, but take comfort that the process will be enjoyable.
How long will it take you to ask three questions? Get used to the idea: asking without trying to answer. This is the Right-Brain's language.